“Everyone has their demons, but I buy mine wholesale…”
Paul Moore, shopkeeper, Master of the Dark Arts and demonic broker, has just met the hottest witch who ever tried to kill him. A date is surely out of the question – she serves the demons of the Babylonian Triad, and no-one defies them… almost no one.
Paul thought he was the best, until the Babylonian Triad launched a turf war. Rival demons, competing traders, an explosive spice and ruthless church factions… Paul only wants to keep his home town safe and get the girl. He knows that being a Master of the Dark Arts involves sacrifice, but really doesn’t want to be the one dragged to the altar.
Hell Of A Deal is a fight through life, death, demons and trying to survive a first date. It’s not the end of the world, just the start of a new corner of hell.
Paul Moore, former demonic broker and master of the dark arts, has a demon inside him – he’s not possessed, but a living prison, and any use of magic could let the demon loose, killing Paul and destroying the world. Now, the prisoner is talking – Let’s make a deal, idiot mortal…
Paul (and his name) have been co-opted to front an insane scheme to use the supernatural for traffic enforcement, all part of being the unofficial demonic troubleshooter for Barrowhurst-under-Helltide. It’s unpaid, the hours are awful and it interferes with being boyfriend to the beautiful uber-witch Simone.
The Moore Traffic Plan is fully functional, perfectly safe, highly efficient and has only one flaw – it is the invention of a demon-killing ancient evil intent on ripping Simone’s huge power from her cold, dead hand and using it to settle some scores.
All Paul has to do is defeat the ancient evil, save his girlfriend and defuse the Moore Traffic Plan before it ends the world and his reputation – all against impossible odds and without magic.
Forget the paving on the Road to Hell, the Demon Nyka is offering a shortcut called Temptation: Become my priest, little mortal, take the deal and together we can do magic safely…
“No such things as vampires” – Paul Moore, forcibly-retired master of the dark arts, gets himself quoted in the local newspaper, saying something stupid. This is Barrowhurst-under-Helltide, the magically turbo-charged playground of hooligan demons, pliable reality, and karmic inevitability.
Paul’s latest task is to inspect the newly-built Lower Barrow Farm Vampire Experience. Just a basic safety-check, because it’s only a bit of harmless fun, right?
Arthur is eighteen, the star vampire with special effects powered by a new flavour of magic, and deeply in love with Bessy the Vampire Slayer. But Bessy only has eyes for dragons, and a very nice girl from out of town.
So what do foolish, angry, spurned adolescent boys do?
They conquer lands, build empires, or burn them to the ground… with their magical glamour dialled up to hell-mark one thousand.
All Paul has to do is put out the metaphorical fire, fight almost-vampires, save his girlfriend’s dragon, find a magical book, fix drains destroyed in a demonic explosion, and generally save the world.
Once again, Paul Moore is cleaning up the mess in Barrowhurst, where Armageddon means not having to wash the dishes.